Friday, 18 June 2010

• Portal 2 Might be Awesome, But Give Me a New Half Life Already!

  
  There have been some huge announcements this week at the E3 conference.  I'm just as excited as I have been after every E3 but I am starting to lose my patience with the lovely people at Valve.

  We all knew a Portal 2 was coming. No one could get enough of those interesting / mind boggling puzzles and the robot voice telling you lies of cake. I loved the first Portal. It was a great add-on to the legendary and O-gasmic Orange Box. It was 2 hours and that was all I really wanted out of it. But Valve has just loved teasing me over the past two years.  Releasing two Left 4 Dead's and a new Portal is just pissing me off now. Where the hell is Gordan Freeman?

  Half Life has been a major contender in gaming for almost a decade. People were obsessed with it.  The first two came with Counter Strike as well, so these games immediately blossomed with popularity.  The stories were great and so were the characters.  The crowbar has become a symbol or icon for gaming.  But the story isn't over yet. 

  Valve left the Half Life story off with the second episode that was released for Half Life 2 back in 07. Well It's been three years Valve...what the fuck?

  I know that they're probably trying to be tricky and clever and they're going to probably integrate Portal and Half Life together. In fact, I actually know that they are, so why am I complaining?  Because Portal isn't Half Life.  I saw it as this cute little time waster with crazy puzzles and a portal gun. That's it. I want to be fully immersed in the chaos and madness of the Half Life world again.  I want to throw people around with the gravity gun and then bash people to death with the crowbar. But no. We have to wait.

  I'm not going to buy Portal 2 until I hear about the ending. I'm not going to buy it and be stuck with a 10 hour puzzle game that does nothing for the Half Life story.  If Gordan Freeman busts through a wall 3/4's of the way through it and starts portaling around the map, then I'll buy it and release a formal apology via Mancouch. But until then, Valve, why don't you stop jerking us all off and give us a new damned Half Life game.

  Thanks, I love you.

  What do you guys think of the new Portal game coming out? 

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